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Showing posts with label extended family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label extended family. Show all posts

Sunday, July 17, 2016

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Things Genealogy Beginners Forget


It does not take long to get overwhelmed to the point you forget some of the basics to being a well rounded genealogy researcher. If you are just beginning or feel like you are starting over, review the reminders below that are easily overlooked. 

Save the JPEGS 
It used to be that photos were stuffed in the sock drawer without a name or date on the back. Today you take tons of pictures on your phone that stay there. Family member's photos become treasures after the person passes away. Maybe you have even taken snapshots that still are trapped on your phone. Upload the pictures and share them with family members so that everyone can have a copy. Don’t' allow your family to be trapped as JPEGS! The new Memories Gallery makes it easy to preserve photos. 


Talk to family members 
Make it easy for your family members to know who the family historians are so they know who to call on when they want to learn more about their heritage. Also, sit down and record or video the folks in your family that can help you make connections to the past before it is too late. One of the biggest regrets family historians admit to openly is not asking the right questions before their loved one passes away. 
Transcribed recordings make it easy to access clues for family history research. These 20 Questions for Interviewing Relatives will help get your family member to open up and possibly share new stories. 

You count too 
If you neglect telling the history of anyone in your family, most likely you will forget that the most important history to preserve is your own. If you do not tell it, someone else will, and you may not like their version. Take time to make a permanent record of your memories, photos, and records. Start with The 4 Family Stories You Must Save for Your Children. 

Family heirlooms 
A hope chest, antique furniture, or wedding bands are family treasures that have a story telling how they came into your family. Perhaps they were acquired by an ancestor at a great cost or sacrifice. Tell the story, and include a photo. Too many family treasures get tossed to the curb, because the stories behind them faded with time. At one time, they were precious to your family. Be sure to tell your family's Treasure Tales. 

House history 
Homes have a genealogy that you can trace. Do you know where your ancestor's homestead is? Chances are several generations grew up there – if those walls could talk! Share the stories that came down to you, and trace the records to show the details about how the property was acquired. House History Research can help you tell the genealogy of your home or your ancestor's home. 

Involve your family 
Whether young or old, discovering your ancestors should be a family affair. Plan time to enjoy family activities together. Remember the rudiments of research may not be the thing that excites most of the people in your family to do family history. Make it fun for everyone, and keep what you do a short and memorable experience as Steve Rockwood, CEO of FamilySearch International, taught so wonderfully during his keynote address at RootsTech 2016

Tuesday, December 31, 2013

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Twelve Principles for Binding Broken Family Ties

Follow McClure Publishing on Facebook (Kathy McClure, CEO & President)
Many family historians happen upon situations in genealogy research where we face strained family relationships that were either brought about before our time or that we witnessed personally. I truly believe through our labors of love we have the power to mend broken fences and bind our loved ones to us.  This post includes 12 principles that help to mend family ties, but I want to set the stage which inspired me to share what I have learned.

Faith

The more our desires and words we speak in faith are in line with what is truly best for us the sooner we see them made manifest in our lives.  The night before Thanksgiving, I was so tired and stressed as I worked unto the early morning preparing Thanksgiving dinner.  I had been sick several days and was still trying to recover.  At 3 AM I remember saying to myself, "I am NOT doing this for Christmas."

I did not mention this to anyone, but Someone was listening.  Everything fell into place like clockwork the next day after my brother asked us to come up.  My daughter was able to take the week of Christmas off from two jobs. That in itself was a miracle.

We used to all get together at Christmas at my house up to the time we moved away to South Carolina in 2005.  Our whole family had not been together on Christmas since 2004.  It was hard to miss out on visiting my close friends this time, but I knew it was more important to spend time with my family.  I love them all so much.

I was inspired after listening to our Christmas Devotional about giving a gifts of eternal value.  It was hard to resist the desire to purchase and wrap gifts to give, but I found my brother wanting to teach the same lesson.  As it turned out, none of us focused on purchasing gifts.  We all gave away our time to each other for almost a full week.  My brother did this even though he had to get up to leave his house at 4:30 AM on some days, and  he and my sister cooked all the meals that we ate at his house.

Gifts Eternal in Nature

My heart was overwhelmed as I watched a Christmas miracle unfold.  My brother inviting us up to spend Christmas with him in Chicago opened the door to something that I wanted to see happen in my lifetime.  I grew up in a household with a father and mother, and my heart goes out to children who grow up without that. I feel their pain.  That is why life has not seemed complete for me knowing that my husband had children that grew up without him.

My job has not been to be the judge and jury but to do my part to make sure I was not standing in the way of a reconciliation that needed to take place.  We are all imperfect people, and we need people in our lives to help us progress.  My husband has never neglected to point out ways that I can improve, and I have appreciated that.

What Grace


What can I give Him,
  Poor as I am?
If I were a shepherd
I would bring a lamb.
If I were a Wise Man
I would do my part,
Yet what can I give Him?
Give my heart.
By Christina Rossetti
 from The Real Joy of Christmas

I know there are people in this world that never seize the opportunity to forgive or repent leaving and even dying and never mending the rifts in the family.  I have watched television shows where a mediator reintroduces family members and they reconnect, but I can tell you that even though much work probably still lies ahead, the reunion of my husband and the children who were able to make it to see him last week after more than 20 years could not have been more loving and gracious.

They needed no outside help.  They brought some of my extended family to tears.  They literally wept as we witnessed my daughter forcefully embrace her older siblings for the first time.  This was one of the most sacred events I have witnessed.  I could not help but think that they were together long ago in their pre-earth life and somehow could not come down to the same parents in this life. I had watched my daughter for years as she searched them out and connected with them online as if her life depended on it. Words cannot describe the moment her efforts to meet them in person finally paid off.  I know she has fulfilled one of the great purposes of her life. I cannot help but to be proud that she has applied great skill and has had the greatest genealogical find.

This story of reconnecting will be told, but it will not be told by me.  If you want to learn the details and see video footage, you will need to subscribe to the Kathy McClure Show on YouTube.

I know many of us have erased the terms, "step," and "in law" from our vocabulary. I for one love each of the children whose DNA courses through the veins of my daughter and husband.   They are only an extension of those whom I hold dear.  These are the emotions inspired by my genealogy journey.  After all, what worth would all my efforts be if I did not apply the true purpose:  To identify family and bind them to us?

Twelve Principles for Binding Broken Family Ties


"Amazing grace!
How sweet the sound That saved a wretch like me.
I once was lost, but now am found,
Was blind but now I see."

"Amazing Grace is one of the most recognizable Christian hymns in the English-speaking world. The text by English poet and Anglican clergyman John Newton (1725–1807) was first published in 1779. The words describe in first person the move of a "wretch" from a "lost" to a "found" state by a merciful act of God." See Amazing Grace.

I am hoping anyone who has a rift or division in their family will be inspired to move further down the path toward unity and love above all else.  For African American families, we spent centuries being separated by forces beyond our control.  Will we now not do all within our power to seek out and reconnect to the living?  I myself have been inspired to share some of the principles that brought our family together:

Twelve Principles for Binding Broken Family Ties

  1. Work to feel forgiveness always.  Do not take offense.  Do not hold a grudge.  
  2. No one in your family is perfect, not even you.  Search for the good in them. Treat them according to the potential they have for good; Then, they may surprise you.
  3. Follow true principles. Be positive.  Do not expose your family to things that will harm them spiritually, emotionally, or physically. Do not encourage wrongdoing. Lovingly take a stand.
  4. If you have family members that you do not communicate with, bury your hatchet and decide that you will find a way to reach out to them consistently in a loving and sincere way. Never give up on them.
  5. Spending time is more valuable than spending money. Always put your family before friends or outside activities. 
  6. Block out more than one evening for family gatherings allowing family members who work to have a chance to see everyone.  Make sure no one is left out. Provide ample time for family members to sit and visit, but be mindful of the younger ones who may want a recreational activity. Wherever possible, plan to include each side of the family.
  7. Do not participate in gossip about any family member, direct your conversation toward ways you can help them.  Never take sides. 
  8. Do not show favoritism among family members. 
  9. Find out the best way to communicate and keep in touch (post mail, e-mail, telephone, social media).
  10. Give family members even time to talk about themselves, what they are up to, and the things they like to do.
  11. Say you are sorry, and really mean it. Work hard to make amends if possible.  Remember forgiveness might take time. Be prayerful.
  12.  Search for meaningful ways that you can help a family member realize a goal or personal pursuit.  Support and encourage them by listening attentively.
Subscribe above so that you do not miss the next post on Saving Stories. Happy New Year!

Saturday, January 5, 2013

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Genealogy: My quest to find the living, Part 1

An extended family: Eastpoint, Florida
An extended family: Eastpoint, Florida (Photo credit: State Library and Archives of Florida)




I really enjoyed creating this resource because it brought back so many fond memories of discovering extended family. The resources and methods described here have helped me to learn more about my ancestors (photos and stories) through many extended family members that I have discovered. This will probably take up more than one post.





One of the purposes for me in researching extended family was to discover what they could tell me about my ancestors so that I could preserve history in books for my future posterity.  I have been able to publish several books, but I still have along way to go. 


I was very fortunate as a child to have heard the conversations between family members about the past.  I would wait for the discussion to break, and then I would interject my own questions that I anxiously wanted to have answered.  I did this without pen or paper.  My interest was so great, I would often look forward to the times the family would get together so I could learn more.  I hope every young person has the opportunity to hear family stories from parents, grandparents, aunts, and uncles. 

While young, I began asking questions of my grandmother when we were alone.  I wanted to know about her parents and grandparents. I questioned her about what life was like growing up on the farm.  I asked her about slavery and if she knew any stories of slaves in our family.  She told me that her grandmother was sold from her mother as a slave as a very young child.  She also told me that a grandmother was freed from slavery when she was a child.  



I did not think of asking the name of her grandmother back then.  I know now that it was either Martha Sims Talley or Elenia Coleman Chick.  My grandmother, Otis, would have known both of her grandparents well.  I have documented both of them on the census back to 1870 and on other historical records.


Otis Edna Tucker was very much a lady.  She carried herself as a lady throughout her life.  I  never saw her in anything but a dress. She was very careful to teach me what it meant to be "trifling" as she would say.  I have become like her in a huge way.  She grew up in a time where it did not take much for African Americans to be treated with disrespect.  She knew it was important not to give anyone a reason to disrespect her.  

She was the oldest, and helped out a great deal on the farm.  She even taught in a one room school house where some of her siblings where her students.  Her dad introduced her to Emory Wallace Vance, and little did he know they would later elope.


I have traced the Tuckers and the Chicks clear back beyond the 1700's.  Both of my great grandparents descend from slave owners.  Our records are intertwined within the records of the former owners and their children.  

It was through a family reunion during later years that a print of the photograph of the father of George Anderson Tucker which hung in their home was shared.  A photo of Martha, George's mother, hung alongside it, but it was destroyed in a house fire.


When I began researching, I traced my ancestors back as far as I could.  I wanted to learn more, and as I looked at all the names of their descendants I had recorded on extraction forms in my search, I wondered if there was anyone alive that could tell me more.

I decided to search each census forward to identify extended family that could still be living.  I branched out on several collateral lines. In the next article, I will share some of those census discoveries and how I learned about more members of each family group. 

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